Heartbroken

Christina's over me. It hurts too much. I moaned and cried myself to sleep, and woke up crying as well. It's the worst feeling I've ever experienced. It's so intense, so unnaturally awful, that I can't say much more than that without sounding like I'm ranting.

Luckily, I have such a great friend as Kyle. With his words, he brought me out of the gutter and set me firmly on the bustling sidewalk of reality. He's the best friend a friend could have, and I love him to death. I will have to move on, and Christina's already made her decision as to what she'll do. She wants to "experiment", to experience more relationships, and then, in time, maybe she'll come back to me, a wiser person. I hope that she does, because she's the most amazing girl in the world and right now I can't picture myself with anyone else.

So I'm trying to dull the pain by exploring, myself. Since Kyle has recently undergone the same terrible reality as I have, we are both in the same boat, and so we're looking for girls. No serious relationships; just some fun. Intermingling with the opposite sex is probably the one thing that completely kicks everything else out of your mind, and that's exactly what I need right now, because I can't take the pain.

***

I got back from Mexico. Nice trip, lots of cool experiences, but heartbreaking poverty, which I won't go into at this moment.

When I got back I awarded everyone's existence with a small souvenir. They all seemed moderately happy. I still have to give Christina her presents, one which happens to be rather expensive. I don't know if I could give it to her right now, and the thought of seeing her wrenches my heart.

When I got back, I was also awarded, but not for my existence, but for my seemingly existent talent in the craft of word: my first check for my first published story. Along with it came a nice note from the editor. It feels good. I think I'll frame it and hang it up on my wall. Anything that will make me happy right now I all but take for granted.

In other writing news: Got several rejections, and I'm sad to report that "I Was a Teenage Feline" will not be appearing in the Twisted Cat Tales anthology. Bummer. But I have to keep going. I need to stay focused, or the pain will come back.

And it's too much for me to bear.

Oh. My. God. I'm. In. Love. With. A. Super. Model.

I don't think that needs any explanation.

I told you Christina was the love of my life. You and your doubts.

Writing

Got a rejection on my fantasy story "What War Brings" from Byzarium Magazine. The editor was very friendly, liked my story but had to reject it because of the awesome quality of several other submissions, and is also from Sacramento, and invited me to come to the Star Struck Con next month.

So I just sent "What War Brings" over to Tales of the Talisman Magazine. Should be getting a reply in about a month.

I'm also expecting a final decision from Esther Schrader, the editor of Twisted Cat Tales, on my dark horror-humor story "I Was a Teenage Feline." Last time I checked, I'd made the short list, but have yet to find out whether I made the final cut.

There are also about five other stories and two flash stories I'm awaiting decisions from various editors on.

Writer's adrenaline. Gotta love it.

Forgot:

http://rembrandtandcompany.com/Ian%20Kappos.htm - My published story.

http://bluemondaypress.com/unhallowedsanctum/issues.htm - Where you can buy Unhallowed Sanctum's first issue. It contains fiction from: Kevin James Miller, Steve Grene, Wendy Washburn, Ian Kappos, Bruce P. Frost, and Kyle Pate.

Enjoy both!

And thanks again to all of you for being so supportive.

Hola

...from Mexico. That's right, folks. I write to you from a computer in a hotel in a sunny city in a country that's just a bit south of the Land of the Free.

The following things are what I've learned so far from Mexico:

1. It's very hot
2. There are lots of bikinis
3. Everything is written in Spanish
4. It smells like the inside of a Wal-Mart (no surprises there)
5. I'm going to die

The last one will either be from the heat or eating (or drinking) something bad. That's why I've been surviving off Doritos. I don't know what flavor they are because I can't read the label, but they are good.

Also, I have good news. Actually, it's EXTREMELY good news. Would you like to know what that news is?

I've been published.

Yes. You read correctly. I now stand among your ranks as a published author. My fantasy story "A Wizard's Revenge" will be appearing in the next issue of The Goblin Reader Web-Zine and my payment should be arriving in the mail in about a week.

This feels good. Really good. Like, the best feeling ever. I've finally accomplished what I've been aiming to do for the past three years of my life. I'm published. And it's awesome.

Unfortunately, Kyle seems like he's the only one that gives a rat's ass, but I'm trying not to let that bother me. I mean, come on--I'm published now!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! [insert other versions of an evil cackle here]

*wipes sweat from brow* Ugh. My victory is short-lived.