Happy Birthday Baby!

It's Christina's birthday today! Well, actually, it's on Leap Year, but whatever. Still her birthday. Wish her well!

Christina, I wish I could give you your presents now, but we can't see each other this week and it makes me angry. Oh well. Next time you see me I'll be wearing jeans. Aren't you happy?

Happy b-day, hon! *smooch*

Getting My Mack On

I write this to you from the humble abode of Mister Quack (see "Blogs I Read" section). Well, today Kyle and I went to the park to visit my beloved Christina. Amidst lots o' cuddling, I received a total of five kisses: one in the frozen food section of a supermarket, another in the middle of the park, another behind the swings, another near the swings (tongue), another ten seconds after that one (tongue), and another before we parted (tongue).

As you can see, I'm doing well. I still feel like a dork for actually keeping count, but it was awesome and I'm not going to let my idiocy let me ruin my joy. She's so perfect. I miss her already. I can't wait to see her again. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I swear to God I just made out with my smoothie. Um. Yeah.

Anyway, Christina is perfect and she is mine alone. Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm so awesome. She's awesomER. I need.

Well, this is falling far from coherent, so I'll leave you all to your BORING lives as I live it up with the Most Wonderful Girl on the Planet.

First Kiss

Yesterday Christina and I shared our first kiss. It was a very magical moment, to say the least. Very wet, too. I'm very, very happy.

But yesterday was bittersweet.

After the sweet kiss of Christina's, I encountered the bitter that would completely fuck up my whole life for the next week. Different school schedules. Because of one school having "shortened day" today and the following week, Christina and I will be bereft of each others' presence. AND I'm grounded from the phone so we won't be able to talk. This sucks so goddamn much.

There really isn't too much else to say on the subject besides that Christina is the only happy thing in my life right now. She's so perfect. The only thing that keeps me from completely obliterating the entire world right now is the memory of her kiss and the promise of more. I miss her so much. Not even GreenDay can make me feel happy right now.

Fuck the world. Anarchy wins this post.

Live Without Warnin'

With two days of complete dormancy at my back, equipped with the lack of the requisite presence of Christina, I have but two words to say: GreenDay rocks.

Yes. Laugh.

I am slightly ashamed, yes, but my opinion of them is not wavering in the least. They kick ass. Sure, they're a poser neo-punk/emo band, but they're still awesome. I have no idea how they do it. Their tunes are always so uplifting and make me so happy, even after an extremely shitty day. The feeling I get when I listen to them is indescribable... something hidden between happiness and cleanliness. It's very, very odd.

Writing? Pequino. Editing? Grande. Two accepted stories, two rejected, and one unread. Making good headway. Soon I'll crank out my own little horror story to include in the first issue of Unhallowed Sanctum. The story is pretty good, but I'll completely rape it once I actually put pen to paper. That I can tell you for sure.

Christina has been on my mind 24-7. She's so great. Everything about her. And then last night I made one of the worst mistakes ever: I made her sad. Why? Because I'm a motherfucking asshole. Pardon my French, but that's the truth. I'm a bad person. I feel so bad about what I said. She sent me an email about it... I replied saying how sorry I was.

Goddamn. I deserve to die.

TIME FOR SOME GREENDAY.

I Was a Teenage Punk Rocker & Other Curious Yarns

As I cave in my eardrums with Lostprophets, I can't help but notice just how goddamn stupid everyone is. Everyone sucks. They all do. I had a freaking meltdown Friday because of just how fucked up this country is. And why am I one of the few teens who's even aware of all the shit that's happening around us? Because I pay a bit of attention? I have no idea. Everyone is stupid. I rest my case.

Other than that and drinking some nasty gin and a bit of an equally unappetizing margarita, my three-day-weekend was pretty uneventful. I talked to my beloved Christina much-much. She's so per--excuse me, Andrew--FLAWLESS. I want to be with her so bad right now, but alas, life is a bitch and I'm forced to face the next three hours with not a complaint in my throat or a tear in my eye. Woe is me.

Christina is so hot. You don't even know. She's going to wear a fancy-wancy skirt for me today. That makes me happy. Also, I'm looking forward to my vaguely promised "hug & maybe more." Hint hint, nudge nudge.

Also, 'tis our week anniversary. Roll out the red carpet and toss the confetti.

I'm so bloated right now it's not even funny. It really isn't. Anyway, I gotta get to third period. Such is life.

Christina

I have been thinking about her all day. It's so hard to concentrate on anything, and it still amazes me that I could complete my algebra quiz today without images of her flawless smile floating into my mind. She's so perfect. So goddamn perfect it's not even funny. I'm on top of the world right now, and yet I feel like I'm in the pits because I still have to wait another two and half hours before I can see her. And what's more, I can't see her this weekend because I'll be out of town with my grandparents. Gram and Gramp, I'm glad you guys don't mind a big phone bill.

Christina is so beautiful. I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have her. And she's definately one of the sweetest people I've met. And very intelligent, though she hides it with her intended "ditsiness." She really is smart, but sometimes she's just a bit absent-minded. That's not anything bad. Shit, I've been absent-minded all day with her constantly on my mind.

I can't wait to see her. Today I think I'm going to try something new in our relationship, no matter how young it is. Nothing extreme, but I may be rushing it. I hope not. If I do end up "rushing it," I'll insert this nail into my cranium as punishment. And then I'll beg for forgiveness.

Last night we talked for over three hours. I don't know how many times I ranted on about how utterly perfect she is, but I still don't think it was enough. Lest I be admonished, I quit after a while, but it was very hard to remain silent. God, she's so GODDAMN PERFECT. I still can't believe she's mine. If love has its limits, I've definately soared over them.

I am The Luckiest Guy in the World. And if anyone disagrees, they will be promptly shot in the foot.

*sigh* Christina. I believe I wrote a poem about her last week, but I can't remember. It was probably crap anyway. I'm a horrible poet. There aren't enough good adjectives to describe Christina. Truthfully.

*whines* I miss her. I would call her right now, but I don't own a cell phone. Such is the reliability of technology.

So. Christina is perfect. I still don't think I've exactly established that fact, so I'll say it again: Christina is perfect. I've told her so, but she disagreed. Why? It's beyond me.

I want her so bad right now.

The only thing that's kept me from announcing my feelings about her to the whole world (excluding the internet) is the fact that I've been chewing the same gum for the last four hours. *chomp!*

So. Why is Christina perfect?

Well, bud, why are hot pockets square?

Simply because that's how they are. Now cut and paste that last statement to the former question. Still fits.

God. I am the Luckiest Guy in the World. And if anyone is to disagree with me, they will be promptly shot in the foot.

Totally Taken

So.

I asked Christina out yesterday.

What did she say?

Yes.

Am I happy?

You can't imagine.*

As Tyler of Waffle Kingdom so accurately put it, I'm "rolling all sevens" in life: new girlfriend, editor of new e-zine with two submissions already received, not bad grades...

Why did life so suddenly choose to be good to me now of all times?

I have no answer, but I'm loving it nonetheless.

I can't stop thinking about Christina, and it's growing increasingly more difficult to focus on the submissions I'm considering and trying to advertise Unhallowed Sanctum and email Kyle every freaking two seconds with new ideas or mistakes I've located on the site. I've got quite a connoirship in nitpickyness.

With all that's been going on, I haven't squeezed in enough time or effort to write. Sorry. BUT I have decided to donate a story of mine (horror) to Unhallowed Sanctum for its first issue. Shibby.

Anyway, back to Christina. What is there to say? So much. Oh, and guess what. I found out she's liked me for a couple months now. That makes me slightly angry, considering I've had feelings for her twice that amount and all this could have happened so long ago.

But I'm still happy. God, I'm happy.

I'll return to my rant about my girlfriend soon enough, but right now I lack the time and the adjectives, so goodbye.

*You really can't.

Plaguing the Industry: Part II

I just got my rejection notice of "Billy Winston and the Nightflower" from Travel Guide to the Haunted Mid-Atlantic. Oh well. The editor gave me some very useful information. She said that the description and atmosphere was done wonderfully, but my characterization was close to zip. Which is true. I haven't been known to create great characters in the past, but I'm getting there. I hope.

On to the next one!

Also, Unhallowed Sanctum is now listed in the 4theLuv Markets at Ralan.com. Man oh man, we're good. In the last three days we've been live we've had almost 400 views of our site. Now that we're posted at Ralan.com, we're gonna have a traffic back-up fo' sho'. Awesome, no?

Super-duper.

Also, Tyler of Waffle Kingdom has prepared a horror submission to send over to me. I expect nothing less of amazing. Tyler is extremely talented.

Before I forget, please visit the Blue Monday Forum. We're in need of activity. I know it's only been alive for a couple days, but I don't want it to fall into the pits before it takes its first few blinks.

That's about all, dudes and dudetts.

Till next time.

Cupcakes & Horseradish

Blue Monday now has a FORUM. Gee whilickers, that is COOL! So, anyone who's interested, go check it out and register or lurk. Whhhaaaatever. I don't care. Just do SOMETHING.

Man, I had too many mints today.

Oh yeah, it is now common belief that Christina has a crush on me. Damn, I am awesome.

Blue Monday Press

Kyle, Andrew and I have formed a small press and we're now accepting submissions for our upcoming fantasy and horror e-zine called Unhallowed Sanctum. Didn't see that one coming, now did you? :p

Anyway, I hope some of you guys are interested enough to submit to us, even though we're not yet paying contributing artists or authors. We'll soon be posted in the 4theLuv Markets section at Ralan.com. Check out our homepage.

If you have any questions about submissions, email me, the editor. If you have any suggestions for the website, email Kyle, the webmaster. If you have any questions that don't exactly fit into either of those categories, email Andrew, the director.

Also, I'd like to thank Kyle for his AWESOME work on the website. He worked for days on making that sucker shine. Also, I'd like to thank Andrew for his invaluable suggestions and help.

So, what do you guys think?

Old school, biatch!

Recently I decided to start picking up some of the "classics." So now I'm reading a collection of the works by H.P. Lovecraft (absolutely amazing) and after that I'll be reading a Conan collection by Robert E. Howard. This weekend I'll be searching for a collection of the works of Edgar Allan Poe, because Poe's awesome. Of course.

I'm also going through some Terry Pratchett withdrawal. Funny, because I've only read one of his books and I'm already really familiar with his writing/writing style. He's friggin' hilarious.

So, yeah. Not much going else in the life of Ian. Things between Christina and me are going quite well. Shibby. Also, I'll be going to my grandparents' place this weekend to bathe in the peace of the countryside and four meals a day and lots o' love from the big GPs. So much for the weight-loss shit. :p

Nah, I'll still be exercising. Actually, I've noticed lately that I've been looking a fraction slimmer. Aren't I just sooo cool?

Not really, but I can keep telling myself that.

Bye-bye, my dudes and dudetts.

Another? Blasphemy!

I wrote one complete short story today. Horror. Pretty short, actually--only about two thousand words, but it was fun to write and I'd certainly be interested in writing another "short-short" someday.

Anyway, I just finished editing it. Not bad stuff, if I do say so myself. I just sent it off to Graveyard Shift. I'll probably be getting a reply in about a month.

Till next time.

Another Market

Submitted "Journey's End" to Ambitions. Should be receiving a reply in approximately two weeks.

I'm at it again!

Consideration? Nay...

The editor replied. Nope, they couldn't include it in their next issue, but they did say, however, that they'd be interested in more of my writing in the future.

That's cool. I guess. At least they liked it.

So that's two rejections for "Journey's End." My baby's unwanted, heh. I'll find her a home sooner or later. Some publisher's bound to like it and ACTUALLY INCLUDE it in their magazine/anthology/whatever. Thank God for Ralan.

Nah, I'm not too upset. Key word: too.

But if I got at least an interest and I've only sent out about, oh, six works of my writing to publishers, I'm well on the way to...something good, I hope.

Till next time, folks.

Consideration? Mayhaps...

Lullaby Hearse replied to me saying they really enjoyed the story, but they were disappointed with the ending, as was Kyle and a few others.

So...what does that mean? I don't know. They didn't really specify if they were accepting it or not, so I don't really know what to think. So I replied asking them if they want me to redo the ending or if they're flat-out rejecting it.

I don't know.

All I do know is that I'm happy a professional publisher enjoyed the story.

Who knows...this could be my first big sale!!!!

A Recap

Well. I'm sure you're all wondering: So, did he ask her out?

And the answer is...

NO.

When I got to see her yesterday she was really caught up with family plans and whatnot. I only got to squeeze in a few words before she had to leave. I was sort of relieved. I was beginning to have second thoughts about the whole thing, anyway.

Nevertheless, that sucked ass.

But I talked to her on YIM for at least three hours last night. Pretty cool. We talked, which is obvious. It's really cool because she now trusts me with all her secrets, and she's not hesitant to bring up touchy subjects. That's always cool. So we're good friends now, I guess. I've always considered her a friend, but I suppose she sees me as a much closer one than I'd presumed, seeing as how most of the stuff we talked about were things she was loathe to talk to her other friends about. No complaints here.

I found out a few things while talking to her. It turns out she was cheating on Michael (big surprise there :p) with some other dude for about two weeks and that she meant to break up with Michael...but didn't for some reason that I seemed to have forgotten. Then the dude she was going out with found out she was at a party with "a lot of guys" and that she was commenting on who was "hot or not." You can guess his reaction. Anyway, he broke up with her over IMing, which is a really stupid way to do it, IMHO. Then, like ten minutes later when Chrissy and I were talking, he IMed her again and said that he made a mistake and he wanted to be with her again. So Christina became confused. She then resorted to asking me what she should do about this whole Michael/other dude fiasco. As much as I despise Michael, I analyzed both of the dudes by asking her questions on how they treated her, had they ever done anything for/to her, etc. Truthfully, I really want Christina to be happy, and if that means she's gonna continuing "dating" Mister Fuckbean, I won't stand in her way. So I acted as her guardian angel, pretty much. It felt good, being that caring friend. Actually, it felt REALLY good. I mean, I wasn't dissecting her present thoughts on the situation by saying Michael's a flippin' retard or anything like that--I was just calling it as I see it, with the exception of any overly-opinionated comments. Sound good? I think so.

So I helped her with that. Then we talked to each other some more, on several different subjects. Then I switched the topic a bit. I asked her if I'd ever made her uncomfortable. She replied simply, "No." I asked if she was sure and she said yes, and then she followed that up with asking me why I was asking that. I told her that we were really touchy-feely back at Brian's party and I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable at all, and that if I had, I was really, really sorry. And I wasn't lying. The last thing I'd want to do is make her feel uncomfortable. I really care for her, ya know. She said that that was totally fine and she didn't feel bad about it at all. Which was cool. Very cool.

So am I mad because of the certain turn of events?

Not at all.

I mean, I really, really, really care about Christina. I'd do anything to make her happy, even if it meant pointing her in the direction of the "right guy" or whatever. Being her guardian angel ain't so bad. I get to talk to her and I love that. I get to help her, which is one of the most fulfilling things I've ever felt. I get to learn more about her, and that's always beneficial when I'm trying to help her out. Am I angry about not getting her? Not presently, no. I like Christina a lot--I like her much more than any of you have probably thought. And this really feels good.

And who knows? Maybe I'll eventually get what I originally wanted in the end.

We'll see.

Taking it slow...

Remember that little headbanger I went with to Twisted X-Mas a couple months ago? Christina? I bet you do. I know I wouldn't forget her, seeing as how I haven't.

Well, I went to my friend Brian's sister's house Saturday for Brian's birthday party. See, Kyle and I met Brian back up at Camp Sacramento (really cool place where we run around wreaking havoc) and we all really liked each other and hung out all the time. But Brian lives in Modesto, so Kyle and I never get to see him. And since Brian made a good handful of friends from Sacramento back at camp, he had a whole separate party in Sacramento to spend with his friends there (i.e. me, Kyle, Brian's make-out participant dubbed Trixie, Erinn, and Christina).

But back to the story...

Christina gave me a ride to Brian's party. When we arrived, I hugged and groped everyone playfully. Aren't I a brag? Not really--we're just weird. Before Christina and I even got to the party, we were already really into each other, or at least I was and she made it blatantly obvious that she was. So I had some high hopes for what would come later that night.

But unfortunately Christina's "boyfriend," Michael (who's a complete flippin' retard who does stupid things to get attention and acts like he isn't trying to get attention--you know what I mean) was there, and, of course, that would hinder my efforts of trying to get with Christina. Sounds like a lost cause, eh? Nah. I'm persistent. Seeing as how Michael doesn't know a shit's worth about relationships, he didn't even hold her hand or sit with her until the very end of the party, which I'll get to. Shy little prick. Why Christina ever went for him is beyond me. But I'm getting sidetracked again...

Since Michael was virtually out of the picture, I dove in for Christina. Things went well. Seeing as how I'm a handsome, charming sonuvabitch (I'm at least right on the charming part--she totally digs my humor and antics) she went for me too. Intermittently throughout the party people would find her and I leaning against each other or wrapped in each other's arms, holding hands or innocently flirting. Good, no? Aye, good. Things were very good. So good. I never thought Christina had any especially strong feelings toward me, but after that experience I was certain that she'd had some interest in me. Which is good. So good.

So that lasted for about four hours. Then everyone went out stargazing, or that's just what it turned out to be. By then Michael had mustered his puny little strength and latched onto Christina awkwardly. I could see in her eyes that she didn't like it too much, but she eased into it because she's a sweet and nice girl and, naturally, didn't want to hurt his feelings. So, since Brian and Trixie were having a dandy ole time together, Kyle and his girlfriend Lauren were comfortably molded into a ball of groping limbs and puckered lips, and Christina and Michael were...well, just there, sort of cuddling, if that's what you call it when the girl slyly keeps trying to stray away from the guy, I left. I replayed the times Christina and I were together and began to fit together all the implications like puzzle pieces. While I was doing that, I saw Christina squirm out of an attempted massage Michael was utterly failing to perform and mutter, "It tickles." That brought a smile to my face. I'd executed many massages on Christina, all successful (except for maybe one that I chose to do at the wrong time a few months back). So it was confirmed. Michael was a no-go and I was a rumbling a-go-go.

When it was time to go, I gave Christina a massage. She liked it--more than she'd liked any of my previous! Which is a +. That went well.

Then it was time for me to depart. And I did, sullenly and stubbornly.

But, hey, I did good, did I not? I think I did.

So for the past few days I've just sort of "played it cool" with Christina, talking to her a bit--that kinda stuff. On Monday she seemed to be a little sad. I attempted to comfort her and the dreaded name "Michael" managed to creep its rotten self out of my mouth. Blast. She told me that she "really didn't want to talk about Michael right now." That's probably good, but I could tell that she was going through some inner turmoil. I felt bad for what I'd done. The next day I pulled her aside from her group of friends and told her that I was sorry and (well, let's just call it "extremely implied") extremely implied that I cared for her. That brought a smile to her face, an art I've a black belt in.

So today I think I'm just gonna drop the bomb and ask her out. Sound good? I think so. It seems kind of abrupt since we've been "taking it slow" a bit, but I think it's about the right time. Whadya think, guys?

Meanwhile, I'm going to try as hard as I can to not think about Christina today, up until The Thing That I Have to Do.

I just hope she cares for me in some way. I know I like her a lot, and from all the gathered evidence, I think she may like me too.

We'll just see.