Heartbroken
Christina's over me. It hurts too much. I moaned and cried myself to sleep, and woke up crying as well. It's the worst feeling I've ever experienced. It's so intense, so unnaturally awful, that I can't say much more than that without sounding like I'm ranting.
Luckily, I have such a great friend as Kyle. With his words, he brought me out of the gutter and set me firmly on the bustling sidewalk of reality. He's the best friend a friend could have, and I love him to death. I will have to move on, and Christina's already made her decision as to what she'll do. She wants to "experiment", to experience more relationships, and then, in time, maybe she'll come back to me, a wiser person. I hope that she does, because she's the most amazing girl in the world and right now I can't picture myself with anyone else.
So I'm trying to dull the pain by exploring, myself. Since Kyle has recently undergone the same terrible reality as I have, we are both in the same boat, and so we're looking for girls. No serious relationships; just some fun. Intermingling with the opposite sex is probably the one thing that completely kicks everything else out of your mind, and that's exactly what I need right now, because I can't take the pain.
***
I got back from Mexico. Nice trip, lots of cool experiences, but heartbreaking poverty, which I won't go into at this moment.
When I got back I awarded everyone's existence with a small souvenir. They all seemed moderately happy. I still have to give Christina her presents, one which happens to be rather expensive. I don't know if I could give it to her right now, and the thought of seeing her wrenches my heart.
When I got back, I was also awarded, but not for my existence, but for my seemingly existent talent in the craft of word: my first check for my first published story. Along with it came a nice note from the editor. It feels good. I think I'll frame it and hang it up on my wall. Anything that will make me happy right now I all but take for granted.
In other writing news: Got several rejections, and I'm sad to report that "I Was a Teenage Feline" will not be appearing in the Twisted Cat Tales anthology. Bummer. But I have to keep going. I need to stay focused, or the pain will come back.
And it's too much for me to bear.
Luckily, I have such a great friend as Kyle. With his words, he brought me out of the gutter and set me firmly on the bustling sidewalk of reality. He's the best friend a friend could have, and I love him to death. I will have to move on, and Christina's already made her decision as to what she'll do. She wants to "experiment", to experience more relationships, and then, in time, maybe she'll come back to me, a wiser person. I hope that she does, because she's the most amazing girl in the world and right now I can't picture myself with anyone else.
So I'm trying to dull the pain by exploring, myself. Since Kyle has recently undergone the same terrible reality as I have, we are both in the same boat, and so we're looking for girls. No serious relationships; just some fun. Intermingling with the opposite sex is probably the one thing that completely kicks everything else out of your mind, and that's exactly what I need right now, because I can't take the pain.
***
I got back from Mexico. Nice trip, lots of cool experiences, but heartbreaking poverty, which I won't go into at this moment.
When I got back I awarded everyone's existence with a small souvenir. They all seemed moderately happy. I still have to give Christina her presents, one which happens to be rather expensive. I don't know if I could give it to her right now, and the thought of seeing her wrenches my heart.
When I got back, I was also awarded, but not for my existence, but for my seemingly existent talent in the craft of word: my first check for my first published story. Along with it came a nice note from the editor. It feels good. I think I'll frame it and hang it up on my wall. Anything that will make me happy right now I all but take for granted.
In other writing news: Got several rejections, and I'm sad to report that "I Was a Teenage Feline" will not be appearing in the Twisted Cat Tales anthology. Bummer. But I have to keep going. I need to stay focused, or the pain will come back.
And it's too much for me to bear.
posted by Ian Kappos at 5:51 PM
2 Comments:
Keep kicking and play "Temple of Love" on repeat.
~Tankgrrl
Too bad about Christina.
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